Studies have shown that couples that have been together for a long time display the following behaviors towards each other. Which one do you think is the most important and why. Give us a brief example.
1) PRO-SOCIAL BEHAVIORS-politeness, avoiding criticism, compromise, self-sacrifice
2) CEREMONIAL BEHAVIORS- remember and celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
3) COMMUNICATION BEHAVIORS- calling just to say “how are you”, open and honest discussions, resolving conflicts in a positive manner
4) TOGETHERNESS BEHAVIORS- being a couple, controlling extra-relational activities
If I were to choose one it would be the CERMONIAL BEHAVIORS choice. My parents are the classic example of this behavior. My parents have been married for 37 years and they never forget eachothers birthday's or their wedding anniversary. They went even as far to celebrating the anniversary of their very first date back in high school. As to the why part of this question, it is important to remember such days b/c if you're married and don't remember your wife's (for you women you husband's)birthday, they will throw you out into the doghouse until you can remember the day that they met. It is just a tool not to be divorced in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteI think Communication behavior is the most important. If you can’t talk to your partner and be honest about everything, you’re already fighting an up hill battle. Even over the little tiny things that most men will not think is not a big deal, you should still be honest about, because if not it will always come back and bit you in the ass. Trust Me!! I know my wife loves it when I just call her out of the blue to tell her I love her or see how her day is going. So communication is the best thing for an established relationship, and you just feel better when you know you can truly trust the one you’re with and love, not ever second guessing your relationship, because it’s all lay out on the table.
ReplyDeleteJeffery Ziegler
Pro-social behaviors sounds good. To make a relationship work compromise and sacrifice is key. Being polite and avoiding criticism keeps things light and enjoyable when together for long periods of time. I think that being with someone takes work and while I don't think relationships should be work, in the real world it takes effort.
ReplyDeleteAs for me I believe that the pro-social behavior is the one that is most important. If you’re polite towards each other than that means that you’re respecting each other and respect plays a large part in any long lasting relationship. I believe that avoiding criticism is important because instead of investing your energy on criticizing each other you spend it on building each other up so avoid criticism and if you are to give any let it be constructive criticism. Compromise is so big in a long lasting relationship you have to be willing to compromise with each other or else you are going to have a miserable relationship that’s for sure. Last self sacrifice you must be willing to go the extra mile for each other. I see this one as the biggest one of all four because I personally believe that sacrifice is one of the greatest ways that one could show love.
ReplyDelete-Ivan
For me it's hard to pick just one because I think that they are all equally important. All aspects that are listed above go into having a long lasting, tight, and honest relationship. It's kinda like a four legged chair; if you take away one of the legs, it makes it hard to sit in the chair without toppling over. You need the support of all four. And while yes, there are 3 legged chairs in the world, you can't properly remove the leg of a regular four legged chair and expect to sit in it as you normally would. Each of those behaviours do sort of play within eachother just a bit. Like a knitted scarf with four different colours, you know? Sorry for being super metaphorical, but that is my view and I'm sticking to it!
ReplyDelete- Beatrice Ramos
In my opinion I think that they are all equally important but if I was to chose 1 it would have to be the communications one. I have learned from 14 years of marriage that you have to be open and honest with each other and you have to discuss everything. Every minor problem needs to be brought to light and a discussion and plan need to be hashed on how to solve it. If you don't talk to each other then you fall apart. It is easy to look like you have the perfect marriage on the outside but can be falling apart on the inside. If you have an open and honest marriage with each other then it is healthy from the inside out. How is your significant other to know if you are happy or not if you don't communicate with each other?
ReplyDeleteCommunication is key in every relationship. The other three behaviors are also important, but I believe communication both precedes and facilitates every aspect of a long-term relationship. Communication denotes caring, respect, and trust. When my friend Katie started dating her boyfriend, he would rarely ever call or text her when they were apart. This caused her to be insecure about his feelings, and eventually she confronted him. He was under the impression that his feelings were obvious, but she made it known that every relationship needs a little reinforcement once in a while. Since then they have been having fewer arguments and Katie no longer questions her boyfriend's commitment to her.
ReplyDeleteFor long term couples I believe that “togetherness behaviors” are the most important. These behaviors define the relationship and create a healthy environment for the relationship to grow. Further, spending time together helps couples bond enabling them to be on the same beat. You can find multiple examples of pro couple behaviors in modern and old television shows such as: Clair and Phil from “Modern Family”, Ricky and Lucy from the “I love Lucy”, Sam and Diane from “Cheers”, Will and Grace from “Will and Grace” (LOL), and Homer and Marge from “The Simpsons”.
ReplyDeleteOh, my wife said not to forget Carrie and Mr. Big.
ReplyDeleteI would say Communication behavior is the most important. In my relationship, we are always polite and curteous to each other but anytime there is a problem it is because of a miscommunication or misinterpretation. As we have been together longer we've discovered a lot of things about each other and ways that we need to communicate with each other to avoid misunderstandings. I would say all the behaviors that are listed above are important but I know in my relationship communication is the one that took the longest time to learn and has helped the most.
ReplyDeleteJaclyn
I think it is a mixture of all combined together. For example, if we can just give 25 % of each category to a relationship, everything will be just fine. Like my girlfriend and I we do a great job on communicating. We talk about each other's day and what happened. We prioritize school as important and then we decide if we can spend time together, go out to the movies, etc. We also go out of our way for each other just like any person ina relationship would do. As for ceremonial behaviors, for us they will come. It's a very important catergory because in a sense it displays the importance of one's relationship !
ReplyDeleteJonathon T
I would pick communication and togetherness as the most important activities that keep relationships stable. The other two choices seem kind of trivial and not all that important in reality. Communication: If you have open communication between a couple then there is nothing bad that’s hidden or to worry about. When couples have poor communication they end up breaking apart because one person is always misunderstood. Togetherness: So, when you have the good communication in the couple, they are able to be together more often and do whatever they want.
ReplyDeleteI will use pro-social with my friends on business. Because that can make me sounds more formal and authentic. For my casual friend, I probably gonna use communication behaviours, that can relief the tension and make me more easy to melt in or start a talking.
ReplyDeleteOf the four behaviors displayed by couples that have been together for a long time, the most important, in my opinion, is communication behaviors. Specifically, having open and honest discussions and resolving conflicts in a positive manner. Relationships should be built on trust, and having open and honest discussions with your partner reinforces that trust; if you and your partner do not trust each other, conflict will arise. Although every relationship has conflict, I think a couple’s ability to deal with this conflict is what determines if the relationship will last or not. If you and your partner cannot resolve conflict in a positive manner, then frankly, none of the other behaviors matter. What is the point of being polite, celebrating anniversaries and doing things as a couple if you cannot resolve your conflicts?
ReplyDelete